You know what I’ve been thinking about these days?
And that maybe it should be for everyone.
I mean I say I hate you all the time but the truth is I love you. But I really hate you too sometimes, even when I say I love you. I don’t know, man, I really don’t know.
Someday the places I write about
will become my country.
You see I’m staking it now with bamboo
sticks and mud and straw
And blackened fingers,
tired eyes, and so many little dreams
That no one cares about
or believes in.
Someday the dreams I write about
will become my reality.
It shall be as I say it will be.
Little girl with a half-carved
smile, what do you have to hide?
Can’t… Can’t anymore. Help.
My country is in chaos right now. Partial-unofficial midterm election results are in and no one but the members of the political elite are impressed.
I seriously lost my faith in my countrymen today.
Love, affection, admiration,
Simple things I desire.
Simple things I don’t deserve.
Today, I tried to end things between us. I am tired of how my bones shatter every time we talk about things other than the mundane, only for it to be picked up and smoothed over by his words the next day. And I know that he is too. Tired of my tears and my piercing words.
He says nothing matters to a heart full of love, and maybe he is right. But that’s just it — he is right. It shouldn’t matter to me if my heart is full of love.
But it isn’t.